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Brief summary

The point of my last post was that I was trying to articulately explain why I felt there was a difference in feeling responsible for a situation and not being willing to accept responsibility for the same situation, without being contradictory.

And I think I figured it out with the help of egbert's comment - it's because my feeling of responsibility has to do with my sense of responsibility to my own morals/values - not for the individual and not for the situation. So one could theoretically be willing to accept some sense of moral responsibility but be unwilling to accept actual responsibility for the situation, and this would not be contradictory.

Except "actual" isn't quite the right word.

Would someone who isn't having babybrain issues, be willing to help me find the word that should be there instead of "actual"?

Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
starshine2night
Mar. 16th, 2010 05:49 am (UTC)
"factual" or "physical" or No word needed at all??
sharya
Mar. 16th, 2010 01:57 pm (UTC)
Hmm, those are not quite right either. Maybe no word needed at all?
2kidsdad
Mar. 16th, 2010 06:53 am (UTC)
How about moving away from the word responsibility in the first case.

More like: So one could theoretically be willing to to accept some sense of moral obligation but be unwilling to accept responsibilty for the situation, and this would not be contradictory.

You accept a certain moral obligation to help someone act responsible if you can, but you aren't willing to take the responsibility for their actions yourself, nor be held responsible when they make the wrong choice.

The issue is that you will sound contradictory if you try to use the word responsible in both cases, although any intelligent being should be able to understand your intention.
sharya
Mar. 16th, 2010 02:28 pm (UTC)
I think you've hit it.

The reason why I'm trying to get this right, is because there's string of unrelated events that have come up with this same theme.

In this scenario, there is a family member of the driver, and/or the driver in question, that have decided to be upset with me because I didn't stop the driver.

When suggesting that I should have stopped the driver, and that this would never have happened if I had stopped the driver, they were not receptive to the idea that actually, this would never have happened if you hadn't gotten behind the wheel drunk. And when I say not receptive, I mean that they insisted they were taking responsibility for their own actions, but yet my inaction resulted in the event.

While I might have initially been thinking "crap I wish I would have tried harder, or done something else to stop them", that feeling evaporated when I started to feel like they were trying to make me and my inaction, any part responsible for the event.

At this point, I don't feel like I should have helped anyone who has such a high sense of entitlement.

Edited at 2010-03-16 02:29 pm (UTC)
egbert
Mar. 16th, 2010 03:10 pm (UTC)
You accept a certain moral obligation to help someone act responsible if you can, but you aren't willing to take the responsibility for their actions yourself, nor be held responsible when they make the wrong choice.

Yep, I think this more articulately encapsulates my thoughts. Thanks.
phaedie
Mar. 16th, 2010 12:41 pm (UTC)
responsible for your own actions and behaviours not responsible for others actions or behaviours, it's one of the first things they teach in group. ;)
sharya
Mar. 16th, 2010 02:32 pm (UTC)
Yes, that is the idea that I'm working with, but in this scenario there is a family member of the driver, and/or the driver in question, that have decided to be upset with me because I didn't stop the driver. They are trying to make me responsible for the event, because of my "inaction" to stop the driver.

When suggesting that I should have stopped the driver, and that this would never have happened if I had stopped the driver, they were not receptive to the idea that actually, this would never have happened if you hadn't gotten behind the wheel drunk. And when I say not receptive, I mean that they insisted they were taking responsibility for their own actions, but yet my inaction resulted in the event.

While I might have initially been thinking "crap I wish I would have tried harder, or done something else to stop them," that feeling evaporated when I started to feel like they were trying to make me and my inaction, any part responsible for the event.

At this point, I don't feel like I should have helped anyone who has such a high sense of entitlement.

Know what I mean?
phaedie
Mar. 16th, 2010 10:05 pm (UTC)
All you can do is try to stop a drunk driver, I mean technically you could have stolen their keys and knocked them over the head with a brick but that's just being silly.
People like to lay blame where it's not warranted to take it away from themselves.
You did good, all you could and do not be letting anyone place blame on you for this, is what I mean. ;)
sharya
Mar. 17th, 2010 04:46 am (UTC)
I'm not sure I'm ready to post about the next one, but you'll see a few similarities in these situations here.
mossymosquito
Apr. 14th, 2010 04:16 am (UTC)
Did you ever get a good phrasing for this worked out?
sharya
Apr. 14th, 2010 05:57 am (UTC)
I think so. Best phrasing I got was this:

You accept a certain moral obligation to help someone act responsible if you can, but you aren't willing to take the responsibility for their actions yourself, nor be held responsible when they make the wrong choice.

I think the difference is in terms of "moral obligation" versus "responsibility".
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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