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I received a brand new office chair. It's pretty impressive actually... it's a BalanceBall Chair.  

This one, except my ball will be purple, or "plum" as they call it.

It's got its pros and its cons... on the pro side, my posture is better, my leg circulation is not getting cut off due to the chair's edge cutting into my leg, I can actually do some exercises at work... I'm really loving it.

But it's got a down side.
First of all, the casters are a bit on the cheap side.  Since the entire chair only cost $90, I'm not surprised, but still... if you do a lot of "rolling" in your chair, this isn't the chair for you.  I do a small amount of rolling.  I suppose I can live with the annoyance of not rolling as smoothly as I'd like.

Secondly, I have to pay very close attention when I sit down.  There are no chair arms, and there's not a lot of room for error.  I didn't appreciate how much I just sort of "approximate" where my chair is when I sit, until I got this chair.  There's no "approximating" with this chair.  If you don't sit directly on the bullseye, you'll be bouncing onto the ground.  This could be a serious problem, but I figure I need to give myself enough time to get used to the idea of actually paying attention to where I'm sitting.  If I can get into the habit of doing that, it won't seem like a big deal anymore.

Finally, and most embarrassingly, there's this other issue.  A tiny problem of flatulence.

Now I don't know how other people handle flatulence.  In my family home, Dad would always just "let 'er rip", Mom would be completely grossed out, and we kids would laugh.  In elementary school, if someone farted, either a loud ripper, or  silent but deadly bomb, it was always an issue of "ewwww!" coupled with giggles.  And then we got older, and it just didn't seem to happen anymore.  At least not in public.  

Which brings me to my embarrassing secret: I cannot and have never been able, to hold it in.  

I might have about 20 seconds warning.  If I'm lucky.  I don't know how other people do it; how they can get to the bathroom on time.  Not me.  Unless the bathroom is within a few feet, there's no hope, and I'm doomed to a public pressure release.  Even though I have my own office (mostly due to chance), the office coffee, microwave, mini-fridge, and reference books are stored in my room.  Which means that my office sees a pretty high volume of people that just "pass through" on a regular basis.  It's not quite a "public" space, but it's close.

Now, that's not to say that I don't make serious attempts to mitigate the damage...

I will try to position myself as far away from others as possible, I will try to get to open air, I will try to "aim" so-to-speak, into the chair where the upholstery both muffles the sound and absorbs some or all of the odour. I'm never sure if my attempts are successful, but no one has turned green in my presence, nor have they commented, so I'm assuming that my attempts at discretion have been at least partially successful.

But now you can see my new problem.

The new office chair, is rubber.  There is no upholstery.  Not only is there no upholstery to absorb any potential odour, but an unfortunate, and relatively minor "release" while sitting on that chair, makes a sound much like the sound of a C-7 rifle on automatic fire.  It's about that loud too.

I really like the ergonomics of the new chair.  I like that I'm using my core all day.  I like that I'm not slouching anymore.

I'm not sure that I can live with the embarrassment.


( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 5th, 2010 04:36 pm (UTC)
It's not a bad little chair - overall it's well-worth the cost. Most office chairs are in the hundreds of dollars, so I'm definitely impressed with it.

Are you sure you ordered red? I didn't think red was an option!
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 6th, 2010 07:51 pm (UTC)
Ahhh I like it! Nice :D

You'll have to give me your assessment :)
Mar. 5th, 2010 03:39 pm (UTC)
Is there no way to cushion the blast?
Farting is actually pretty normal and healthy if it's non painful and not too smelly (unusually smelly?).
I'm lucky because I'm not very noisy about it and the kitties at work appreciate that sort of thing a lot more than silly humans, they just think it's part of a concert I'm putting on for them.
Mar. 5th, 2010 04:39 pm (UTC)
The one good thing about the chair being rubber, is that you don't slide on it. I think I might be a little bit afraid of putting anything over the rubber at the risk of sliding off :P

Having said that, I'm tempted to look into getting a little sheepskin to try it out. That would also address any potential problems of the rubber pulling at my clothes - which would be bad if I wore skirts to work.
Mar. 6th, 2010 08:43 pm (UTC)
You mean you can't wear a yoga getup like the lady in the picture?

By the way, I love the salt lamp. We have one at home. :)
Mar. 6th, 2010 09:03 pm (UTC)
Is that what that is? I noticed it and thought it was lovely, but didn't have any idea what it was or where to find one LoL!
Mar. 6th, 2010 09:08 pm (UTC)

We didn't get ours online- it was a gift. But aside from the claimed benefits, we just enjoy the soft glow and earthy feeling of the lamp. It's really nice, never gets hot to the touch, and we do notice that our pets tend to not hang out in the room if we turn the lamp off. So maybe it does work as claimed?
Mar. 6th, 2010 09:19 pm (UTC)
Oh wow! Very cool! Something to add on the wishlist :P
Mar. 6th, 2010 09:20 pm (UTC)
My trainer wants me to get one of these. I worry that I will get sick of it and find ways to cheat.
Mar. 7th, 2010 03:13 am (UTC)
The ball or the chair? If it's the chair, it's pretty hard to cheat. Either you sit on it, or you don't :P
Mar. 6th, 2010 11:33 pm (UTC)
I was thinking, maybe they have a butt version of those vaginal weights that you use to do power Kegels? Ass training?
Mar. 7th, 2010 03:14 am (UTC)
I snorted ice tea out my nose when I read that comment. Win!

Joking aside, I could use some ass training.
Mar. 7th, 2010 12:28 am (UTC)
I want that chair!!!!!
Mar. 7th, 2010 03:14 am (UTC)
Aside from the problems I identified above, it's a pretty awesome chair.
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 7th, 2010 03:15 am (UTC)
Hah! But then I'd explode :X
Mar. 7th, 2010 11:01 pm (UTC)
I have the exact same affliction. As much as having this chair would be cool - I've got IBS and quite frankly there would be no work done with the amount of gas I can have haha
Mar. 8th, 2010 12:21 am (UTC)
And there is no such thing as passing it quietly while sitting on this chair! Yup, it would prove to be a distraction :P
Dec. 8th, 2017 12:51 am (UTC)
The best chair for me is ergonomic chair. It's quite expensive but it's really beneficial especially if you're sitting in front of your computer for a long time.
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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