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Mothers are... something else.

I'm furious with my mother.

It's my grandma's 93 birthday on March 10. None of the rest of her family will be around (she lives in another city), so I was trying to figure out how I could get her to our city, so she could celebrate her birthday, and the kids' birthdays with us (March 12).

In trying to work out potential details with my mother, I received the following feedback, repeatedly, in a snarly, complaining, and condescending manner:
1) You have no idea how difficult this is.
2) You really don't want her to come - you can't possibly understand what it's like to deal with her.
3) You can't handle her or this situation (she's slightly incontinent and forgetful of her medication).
4) You don't know what you're asking for.
5) She'll never agree to travel with you.
6) You're causing all kinds of problems.
7) You haven't thought things through at all.
8) You're not prepared to deal with her.

I asked her what her problem was, and suggested that if she didn't want grandma to come, then she should say so, but to stop making decisions about what I can, or can't do, and about what I want, or don't want. Rather than address the question, her solution was to hang up on me.

Hopefully, she won't try to talk to me for a few days. I have no desire to have anything to do with my mother, but you can bet that I'll be inviting my grandmother to visit. My mother can also shovel her own damn sidewalk and hire an accountant to do her own bookkeeping.

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Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
phaedie
Feb. 24th, 2010 04:15 am (UTC)
Looks like someone might be in need of a few more I's in that list instead of what probably felt a lot like finger pointing You's.
Hope you have a fun productive way to vent the killing spirit. <3
sharya
Feb. 26th, 2010 04:05 am (UTC)
Yeah, it's completely missing the "I" statements.

I think we've worked out a solution - she's now very excited about the prospect of grandma coming!
joeymichaels
Feb. 24th, 2010 09:44 am (UTC)
Egads, nobody but nobody knows how to get under somebodys skin better than that person's parents. Sorry about this!
sharya
Feb. 26th, 2010 04:06 am (UTC)
Yeah, only family can really do a stellar job of poking with a pointy stick. They know exactly where to poke!

I think the drama has passed. She's now really looking forward to my grandmother's visit.
(Deleted comment)
sharya
Feb. 26th, 2010 04:07 am (UTC)
Yup, pretty much. My mother is terrified of change though, and change is something that rears its ugly head frequently. It takes her a long time to get used to an idea.

Having said that, she's now on board with the visit, and is actually quite excited about it and grateful that I'm organizing it.
omg4real
Feb. 25th, 2010 08:52 pm (UTC)
I hope at 93 someone would want to enjoy my company rather than worry about the grief I would cause.
sharya
Feb. 26th, 2010 04:08 am (UTC)
I would pretty much hope so too, although Mom is her mother's daughter.

The first words out of my Grandma's mouth when I invited her was that she didn't want to be a burden on anyone :P

I think we've got something worked out - at least between my mother and I. She's now pretty excited Grandma's coming.
omg4real
Feb. 26th, 2010 03:12 pm (UTC)
Good i'm so glad!
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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