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Rant #2 - Lactation Consultant Bullshit

Last Thursday, I go to take Alex for her four-month shots. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, but it's not fun listening to your baby scream in pain.

Anyway, the nurse asked about how the nursing was going, and shared she was also a lactation consultant. I told her it was going fine, except that Alex started doing this weird arching thing at the end of a feed. She jumped all over that and decided that I must have a super powerful let-down that's causing some digestive problems. I don't think I do, but whatever. I was somewhat amused that she came to this conclusion by me saying that a few times Alex has been arching her back at the end of a feed.

She then asked how Alex was sleeping. I told her truthfully that she sleeps about 8 hours at night. This woman kinda freaked on me and said, "Frankly, that's just really inappropriate for a baby that young to be sleeping that long."

My brain kind of exploded. I didn't say anything to her at the time, but as I got home and thought about it, I got more and more angry. How dare she insinuate that I'm doing something inappropriate? They all say to take your cues from the baby... that's how "on demand" feeding works. Well it wasn't my idea that my baby sleep for 8 hours... it's hers. It's not like I leave her crying in her crib for 8 hours before I'll get up and feed her... how dare that woman?

I'm doing exactly what I've been told to do, and I've got what appears to be the world's happiest baby. She sleeps well, she eats well... she's at the 97th percentile for weight (16 lbs 6.5 oz) and the 90th for height (25 inches). She's a happy growing girl.

Why do some people just look for faults and problems?


( 27 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 20th, 2006 05:37 am (UTC)
My mother always referred to the clinic nurses (ie at the baby clinic) as "the Milk Police".

Feel free to ignore medical professionals. If your baby is happy and healthy, I think the fact is that "normal" encompasses quite an extreme range of values.
Jun. 20th, 2006 05:46 am (UTC)
Yup, I'm in agreement.
Jun. 20th, 2006 03:06 pm (UTC)
Yep...I agree. You keep doing what you're doing.
Jun. 20th, 2006 05:27 pm (UTC)
I plan on it!
Jun. 20th, 2006 06:05 am (UTC)
you know i had a similar thing happen to me at my shots appointment last week.

i started giving Bauer some baby mush (rice pablum) about 2 weeks ago. totally random feedings and no more than a tablespoons worth. anyways, the nurse asked what i feed bauer and i told her that he is exclusively fed expressed breast milk. then onto the story of how i pump 2093784923874 times a day because he wont latch. and then i told her about the mush and she says...(in a totally snarky way)

WELL..you really shouldnt be feeding him that. the W.H.O. has changed their guidelines and now suggests that you dont feed solids until at LEAST 6 months.

i smiled and nodded. my brain also kind of exploded. i know this is somewhat a controversial topic but i think that when someone has made a decision about whats best for THEIR baby and you disagree, you should do it in a non judgemental way. and i totally felt judged and i was pissed!

oh and bauer has been sleeping through the night for well over a month and a half now too. completely normal. pfftt! experts my butt!
Jun. 20th, 2006 06:09 am (UTC)
think that when someone has made a decision about whats best for THEIR baby and you disagree, you should do it in a non judgemental way.

You're absolutely right. What's equally as frustrating is I have nothing but respect for these women who help us learn how to feed our babies, so for her to come down so hard on me when I was just following the instructions I'd previously been given...

Well lets just say I lost a lot of respect for that individual.
Jun. 20th, 2006 06:19 am (UTC)
there are a million experts and they all contradict each other. the best advice ive ever heard from a dr was on the "mom show" he said that the "experts" change their minds on so many topics, (ie SIDS, solids and breastfeeding) that if you find something that works for you, that you should stick with it.

my gramma had 7 kids who all grew into healthy adults. i tend to go by the advice she gave me. it seemed to work with my first daughter.
Jun. 20th, 2006 06:21 am (UTC)
Yeah, if you find something that works, stick with it.

Myself, as a child I had major food allergies and chronic ear infection well into my teens. It apparently started as soon as my mother took me off breast milk and put me on formula and solids, so for my daughter's sake, I'm going to try to delay solids as long as I can, since the allergy thing seems to be genetic.
Jun. 20th, 2006 06:15 am (UTC)
Btw, have you checked out the breastfeeding communities? There's some really good ones here... I really like breastfeeding in particular, and I know they've got a number of moms who exclusively pump :)
Jun. 20th, 2006 06:17 am (UTC)
ya i cruise through there from time to time. while they are very informative i find them to be really judgemental there too. i am getting pretty tired of pumping (not to mention that its been killer on the nips) and i dont want to post about me giving up for fear of being snarked to death. =(
Jun. 20th, 2006 06:18 am (UTC)

Out of curiosity, what pump do you use?
Jun. 20th, 2006 06:21 am (UTC)
gerber electric pump. and i have a first years electric pump too but the motor burned out...lol.
Jun. 20th, 2006 06:23 am (UTC)
How do you like it? Is that one a hospital grade pump? Did you have any luck with any of the hand pumps?
Jun. 20th, 2006 06:46 am (UTC)
In a way this post reassures me.
When I had the Moo, I know I was being watched by overly critical doctors and nurses and social worker types.
It's nice to know they like to stick there noses and judgements in everyone's business.
You're a good Mommy by following babies cue.
Jun. 20th, 2006 07:29 am (UTC)
Yeah, I've yet to hear about someone who didn't have at least a few negative experiences with the health staff.

Nosy Bastards.
Jun. 20th, 2006 09:18 am (UTC)
mmm... nosy people..
that's why government is there to intervene, oh, wait, shit, they're nosy and think that what they think is what the public should think too.. damn

in all honesty, judgmentality is always going to exist in everyone; for instance, that woman judged you because she saw something that alarmed her, you judged that woman because you want to deny that there's anything wrong (which there probably isn't).

I tend to judge people pretty quickly, they say or do something that i consider stupid, and then that person isn't worth my time.
Jun. 20th, 2006 11:36 am (UTC)
Gosh that woman sounds like a total bitch. I don't have any kids and even I know infants hellllooooo do sleep alot. What's wrong with 8 hrs- -Gosh wtf planet is she from?
Hell we as adults are suppose to have 8 hrs a night so how many hours does she think is normal....humor me please! What an asshole I am *shocked* you didn't knock her out ;)
Jun. 20th, 2006 05:30 pm (UTC)
Hehe, well I do understand her concern in principle, it doesn't really apply to a child as old as Alex. When babies are born, their stomachs are the size of peas... which means it takes very little to fill them, and very little to empty them. i.e. they eat every hour or so. As they get older, their stomachs stretch and they can hold more, so they don't have to feed that often... but some still do.

Still though, it's not like I'm starving her (as her height and weight clearly indicate).
Jun. 20th, 2006 02:24 pm (UTC)
I hate those lactation consultants. When I was pregnant, I had some major health issues.I was informed by my doctor that I could not even consider breast feeding due to medication that I would need to be on as soon as she was born. The lactation consultant who came to our lamaze class made it sound as if my baby would shrivel up and die if I didn't. She really tried to give me a guilt trip. She would not accept that my health was at stake. I think most of them are obsessed maniacs who must convert the world to their way of thinking.

By the way, Marisha was less than two weeks old when she slept for eight hours the first time and she's now 12 and fine. The baby decides how much sleep she needs. :P to that lady.
Jun. 20th, 2006 05:28 pm (UTC)

Truth is, I've had some really wonderful advice from some of the lactation consultants. I generally have a great deal of respect for them. I guess there's always a rotten apple in the bunch though.
Jun. 20th, 2006 11:51 pm (UTC)
Let the child sleep.. I made the mistake of letting someone tell me I needed to wake up Kyle every few hours and now the kid NEVER sleeps through the night!@ He is 10!

You only need to worry if she isnt sleeping or eating or growing.

I bet she has no kids
Jun. 21st, 2006 04:57 am (UTC)
Yeah, I hear you on that. My friend is having the same problem... her kids don't eat a full meal, they just snack, and consequently still wake several times at night for a bottle and they're nine months.

She's sleeping great, eating like a piggy and growing like a weed, so I honestly don't see what the problem is. Plus, she's happy. And when she's happy, I'm happy.

Either she has no kids, or she's just jealous :P
Jun. 21st, 2006 12:59 am (UTC)
Next time you see her tell her to just FUCK OFF! What a bitch. Do good busy bodies that have to interject their obviously superior knowledge when it's really not wanted just piss me right the hell off.

It's possible I'm a little testy this evening.
Jun. 21st, 2006 04:58 am (UTC)
I'm liking the venom :D

I'm sure she meant well, but really... when there isn't really a problem, why go looking for one and then finding blame?
Jun. 25th, 2006 02:49 am (UTC)
The back arch - gas. Morgan had it all the time, used to rub the tummy arch and rat a tat tat. As for sleeping 8 hours - leave her definitely. She'll probably change up her sleeping habits soon anyways where she has long and short days so might as well enjoy the 8 hours now. Besides, I know how much I love my uninterrupted sleep - I'm sure the growing babe does too.

Morgan had colic so bad when she was born because of some cancer medication my aunt had to be on that any amount of sleep I could get her to commit to was a blessing although for the first year when she started sleeping her lovely 8 hours, I would check on her almost every hour - so paranoid about SIDS. Yah well I was only 15 and raising a kid..haha but looking back now...

The point of my story - you rock - luv yah long time.
Jul. 1st, 2006 12:58 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I knew it was gas... it was just that the lc seemed to feel that the gas was coming as a result of some kind of super-strong let-down.

I'm not too sure that she will change up her sleeping habits to be honest... they've been pretty consistent since she's been about 2 weeks old!

That's totally amazing that you were so involved in Morgan's care! I was never really around any babies until I had my own.

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