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National Temperature Conversion

The National Temperature Conversion Guide:

  • 10C (50F)       = Vancouverites try to turn on the heat. Saskatchewanians plant gardens.

  • 5C (41F)         = Victorians shiver uncontrollably. Regina people sunbathe.

  • 3C (37F)         = Italian cars won't start. Regina people drive with the windows down.

  • 0C (32F)         = Distilled water freezes. Regina water gets thicker.

  • -5C (23F)        = Torontonians wear coats, gloves and wool hats. Saskatchewanians throw on a t-shirt.

  • -10C (14F)      = Quebecers begin to evacuate the province. Saskatchewanians go swimming.

  • -20C (-4F)       = Toronto landlords finally turn up the heat. Saskatchewanians have the last cookout before it gets cold.

  • -25C (-13F)     = People in Vancouver cease to exist. Saskatoonians lick flagpoles.

  • -30C (-22F)     = Calgarians fly away to Mexico.. Regina people throw on a light jacket.

  • -40C (-40F)     = Hamilton disintegrates. Regina people rent some videos.

  • -60C (-76F)     = Mt. St. Helens freezes. Regina Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door-to-door.

  • -80C (-112F)   = Polar bears begin to evacuate the arctic. Saskatoon Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

  • -100C (-148F) = Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Regina people pull down their earflaps.

  • -114C (-174F) = Ethyl alcohol freezes. Regina people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

  • -183C (-297F) = Microbial life survives on dairy products. Saskatchewan cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

  • -273C (-459F) = ALL atomic motion stops. Saskatchewan people start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

  • -300C (-508F) = Hell freezes over. The Saskatchewan Roughriders win the Grey Cup.

Copyright 2003-2017 by Shar

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