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I read this and I thought of joeymichaels :P

This baby was sent to me in an instant message by an old friend. I tried to get to the source, but unfortunately he got it off a forum which was stolen from another forum, which wasn't ever linked. As a person who used to love math and algebra and trigonometry and calculus (yes, i'm a geek), I thoroughly enjoyed this and found it to be hillarious! Enjoy :P

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, and a calculator.

Attorney General John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "x" and "y," and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns," we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the great Greek philanderer isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every angle, and if God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. Therefore, I'm extremely grateful that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are so willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. These statistic bastards love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence. Under the circumferences, it's time we
differentiated their root, made our point, and drew the line.

These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex.

As our Great Leader would say, "Read my ellipse!"

Here is one principle he is uncertainty of--though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered and the hypotenuse will tighten around their necks.


I think I'm probably gonna post this on my site, heh.

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Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
joeymichaels
Jan. 13th, 2004 04:03 pm (UTC)
Oh, this rocks. I laughed like a lunatic.
sharya
Jan. 13th, 2004 04:10 pm (UTC)
I know! I had to read it twice because I was laughing so hard the first time I skipped a line or two :P
bribri22
Jan. 13th, 2004 04:38 pm (UTC)
rofl thats somethin else shar <3
sharya
Jan. 14th, 2004 05:35 am (UTC)
heh tell me about it :P <3
phaedie
Jan. 13th, 2004 06:25 pm (UTC)
My friend took a flight from Vancouver to Toronto (to visit relatives over xmas) and they almost didn't let her on because she had a nail file and nail clippers in her purse.
She also had nail polish and was planning on doing her nails on the flight to relieve the boredom.
She relinquished the offending items because they wouldn't let her get on the plane without them.
Please keep in mind this lady is five four, weighs less than a feather, is a law student and quite obviously a girly girl.
Perhaps on an international flight this would have made sense but she was going to Toronto.
I think we are taking this fear of terrorists thing a little too far.
Funny story that you posted but I don't think it's funny that they (you know them the bigga badda authority types) are trying to make us live in fear. I refuse to do it. Sure I lock my door but that's just sensible.
sharya
Jan. 13th, 2004 09:58 pm (UTC)
I know. I had a ruler in my backpack when I went to Ottawa. It was to draw lines for my logic puzzles. (yeah, I do those in my spare time) They didn't have a problem when I took it there, but they totally jumped all over it when I went back home... bastards.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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