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Thoughts for Today

1. Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
2. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
3. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
4. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
5. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
7. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
8. Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL "
9. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
10. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
11. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so she can tell when she is really in trouble.
12. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to liook for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
13. Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."


( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 3rd, 2005 01:45 pm (UTC)
40=XL Sadly that explains oh so much. :(
May. 3rd, 2005 07:25 pm (UTC)
I know!

May. 3rd, 2005 03:00 pm (UTC)
i love #11. when mom pulled out the full name, i knew it was bad.

May. 3rd, 2005 07:26 pm (UTC)
I know. The worse it is, the more you hear that middle name come out ;)
May. 3rd, 2005 03:22 pm (UTC)
#4 shall become my mantra, they are not out to get me they are just idiots.
thank you, so far just about everyone's posts today have been making me smile.
May. 3rd, 2005 07:26 pm (UTC)
Good! Smiling funny lj posts are the ones to read :D
May. 3rd, 2005 03:46 pm (UTC)
Number 2 is great. I love it.
May. 3rd, 2005 07:27 pm (UTC)
Hehe, I was wondering if any dog owners on my list were going to comment on the presence of that one :P
May. 3rd, 2005 03:48 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I needed a good laugh this morning.
May. 3rd, 2005 07:28 pm (UTC)
Good! Laugh much, and laugh often :D

I'm trying to convince my sister to let me post something she wrote, if you think this is funny, you'll die laughing when I post her thingy. :P
May. 3rd, 2005 04:48 pm (UTC)
5. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

I was really proud of myself this morning. I totally lost my cool with one of my union employees here and screamed at him like he was a dog.(in fact, I have never spoken to any of my dogs in this tone of voice). It was so unlike me... I've never done that before (but this guy truly is an idiot).

The proud part of it was when I realized I didn't use any foul language while screaming ;{)
May. 3rd, 2005 07:28 pm (UTC)
LoL Woohoo! Progess :D
May. 3rd, 2005 07:32 pm (UTC)
And to add to it, as I walked out of the room that I just blew my stack in, my administrative assistant handed me a folder with all the paperwork I need for Thursday when I attend a corporate "Effective Communication" seminar.

I didn't realize how funny it was until my hands stopped shaking enough to read the label on the folder.
May. 3rd, 2005 06:41 pm (UTC)
number 11, bwahahaaaa! I go by "CJ" because that's what my parents called me when they liked me. "Carol" wasn't good and "Carol Jean" meant time to put on extra shorts 'cause I'd gotten caught at something! 8-)
May. 3rd, 2005 07:29 pm (UTC)
Ohhhhh! So smart! It never occured to me to put on the extra shorts or pants :P

I wondered what the CJ stood for, that's a lovely name :)
May. 3rd, 2005 08:37 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks! I always liked "CJ" because on the net (early days) no one could tell I was female. :-)
May. 3rd, 2005 09:10 pm (UTC)
Hehe, my early online nickname was "shark" for that same reason ;P
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )

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