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The Last Saskatchewan Pirate


I used to be a farmer, and I made a living fine,
I had a little stretch of land along the CP line*
But times were hard and though I tried, the money wasn't there
And bankers came and took my land and told me "fair is fair"

I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
"Hire you now?" they'd always laugh, "we just let twenty go!"
The government, the promised me a measly little sum
But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum.

Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone?
I'm gonna be a PIRATE on the river Saskatchewan**!!!

Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores***

Well, you'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at
large
But just the other day I found an unsuspecting barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser,
I rammed their ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer!

A bridge outside of Moosejaw*** spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a'quiver
Cause they know that TRACTOR JACK is waitin' in the bay
I'll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay!

Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He'd follow on the shoreline cause he didn't own a boat
But cutbacks were a'coming and the Mountie lost his job
And now he's sailing with us, and we call him Salty Bob!

A swingin' sword, a skull and bones and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the GST**** (SCREW IT!!)
Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the seas
If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me!

Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

(*spoken* Arrrr! Ya salty dog!)
(*spoken* Arrrr! Ya salty gopher!)
(*spoken* Arr.. ya.. salty bale of hay!)
Well, Pirate life's appealing but you just don't find it here,
I've heard that in Alberta***** there's a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabaska from Smith to Fort McKay
And you're sure to loose your stetson if you have to pass their
way!

Well, winter is a'comin' and a chill is in the breeze
My Pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
I'll be back in springtime but now I have to go
I hear there's lots of plunderin' down in New Mexico!

Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores...

*CP Line = Canadian Pacific Railway
** Saskatchewan is a prairie province where the major export is grain
*** Regina's built on a large slough... the Sask River doesn't go through it, nor MooseJaw
**** GST = General Sales Tax (6% - used to be 7%)
***** Alberta's main claim to fame is their beef. That and the pisspot full of money they get from the oil.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
pixienymph
Jul. 15th, 2007 05:39 am (UTC)
*FLAILS*
sharya
Jul. 15th, 2007 05:41 am (UTC)
They're so awesome :)

I'm also a fan of "I am cow" and "Canada is really big"
sirsheepshape
Jul. 15th, 2007 06:54 am (UTC)
I've never heard of the Arrogant Worms, possibly because I live in the lower 48 instead of Canada. I like the song, it sounds like they have a refreshing sense of humor ~ any idea where their music might be available?
sharya
Jul. 16th, 2007 05:38 am (UTC)
The CD's are pretty easy to come by in Canada. I've got one song uploaded right now, which you're welcome to listen to (don't spread the link around though) http://sharyamarie.com/music/AW_The_Toronto_Song.mp3

Most of their music is making light of Canadian/Americans and Politics in general.
phaedie
Jul. 15th, 2007 07:09 am (UTC)
I think i've got a crush on celine dion
The way she beats her chest when she sings a love song
There's something about her makes me want to feed her
And i'd love to be mister celine dion
sew_crafty_girl
Jul. 15th, 2007 03:56 pm (UTC)
I have that song and Canada is really Big on my iPod right now. Have you seen them in concert? They put on a good show. I'd love to get ahold of a couple of their CDs as all I have are downloads.
sharya
Jul. 16th, 2007 05:38 am (UTC)
I'd love to see them in concert, but I've never heard of them coming to Saskatchewan sadly :(
sew_crafty_girl
Jul. 16th, 2007 03:30 pm (UTC)
Asw, I saw them in small town Chilliwack, BC, which surprised me, a couple years ago.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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