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It's funny because it's true :P


  1. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving.

  2. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

  3. Duct tape won't fix that.

  4. Come to think of it, screw Pilsner, I'll have a Heineken.

  5. We don't keep loaded firearms in this house.

  6. You can't feed that to the dog.

  7. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

  8. Wrestling's fake.

  9. We're vegetarians.

  10. Do you think my gut is too big?

  11. I'll have grapefruit and salad instead of steak & potatoes.

  12. Honey, we don't need another dog.

  13. Who gives a damn who won the Grey Cup?

  14. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

  15. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

  16. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

  17. Trim the fat off that steak.

  18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

  19. The tires on that truck are too big.

  20. I've got it all backed up on the C: drive.

  21. You know, I just don't look good in green.

  22. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

  23. I've got two cases of Perrier for the Super Bowl.

  24. Checkmate.

  25. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

  26. Hey, here's an episode of "The Dukes of Hazard" that we haven't seen!

  27. I don't really have a favorite CFL team.

  28. You All.

  29. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

    AND THE BEST FOR LAST....
  30. Hey Brad, you can't do her, she's only fourteen!

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