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Interesting Poll

A very interesting public poll on friendship can be found here:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/phaedie/133326.html

The more voters, the more interesting the results, so please check it out!

Comments

( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
_odium_
Mar. 29th, 2005 09:20 pm (UTC)
i voted wrong.
sharya
Mar. 29th, 2005 09:28 pm (UTC)
LoL How do you vote wrong?
_odium_
Mar. 29th, 2005 09:29 pm (UTC)
i wanted to vote 'i should go to hell for all i've revealed' so i maked the one that had the word 'hell' in it ;)
phuul
Mar. 29th, 2005 10:14 pm (UTC)
Just an FYI while I could take the quiz apparently comments are limited to friends. I actually didn't know you could do that. Learn something new everyday.
sharya
Mar. 29th, 2005 10:54 pm (UTC)
I didn't know that either!

I'll mention it to her as I'm sure she'd like comments from other non-friends for this post.
phaedie
Mar. 29th, 2005 11:23 pm (UTC)
i changed that (i think) and i didn't know i could do it either, one of the problems with going friends only is the default settings are a bit of a bugger to get around.
phuul
Mar. 30th, 2005 12:02 am (UTC)
I did some fiddling with the settings and don't think there is a way around it barring allowing registered users to leave comments for your whole journal, at least the entries that are public. It seems to be a global setting. While the 'screen' option on an entry implies that it will work it doesn't seem to have an affect. No worries. Below is what I was going to post.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I am very stingy with info people have given me. If I don't have explicit permission to tell someone it doesn't get said. This is true even of telling the person I'm in a relationship with. I've never bought the "Well I tell {insert SO name} everything!" argument. I think it's one thing to be completely honest with them about yourself but somebody else's secret isn't about you.

I think part of my attitude is that I'm a pretty private person. I'm very careful about who I share with. In turn if someone trusts me I take it as a responsibility to respect that trust.
phaedie
Mar. 30th, 2005 01:27 am (UTC)
Wow, well said, two words that ring the most true to me are responsibility and respect.
Thanks for taking the time to offer up your point of view.
phuul
Mar. 30th, 2005 05:24 am (UTC)
Don't thank me. Thank my sense of self importance. When I want to say something I generally manage to find a way to do so. I also tend to piss people off so I think I should thank you. As to the words respect and responsibility, well I'm glad the resonate with you. Wish they did for more people.

Now I have to, respectfully, critique your icon. The kitten doesn't bring down one plane? Not one? How real is that? I mean I have personally watched kittens bring down squadrons of moths. Radioactive Giant Kitten should at least be munching on a Sopwith Camel.

Just sayin'.
phaedie
Mar. 30th, 2005 05:31 am (UTC)
he's brain damaged from the radiation. :(
phuul
Mar. 30th, 2005 05:41 am (UTC)
That does explain the lack of damage and the blank stare. The poor thing. Giant Radioactive Kitten is just trying to say "Hi!" to a misunderstanding society. Oh Giant Radioactive Kitten Lennie where is your Giant Radioactive Kitten George?
sharya
Mar. 30th, 2005 04:37 pm (UTC)
I too, really like how you phrased that... if someone trusts me I take it as a responsibility to respect that trust.

That's a very powerful sentence there. It gives a lot to think about. Well put!
kraftygal
Mar. 30th, 2005 02:58 pm (UTC)
I did vote and did try to comment (blocked).

It is so sad to say but as I was royally stabbed in the back last year by someone that I thought I could trust. Someone who, with her two daughters, lived in our home for 3 mos. - rent free. Holy crap, I can barely go into it ALL without getting all flushed and pissed off again...

Anyways, because of that situation, I don't think I would ever divulge my deepest secrets to anyone again. Sad. Also, resultant from that situation, my respect for other's secrets deepened immensely.
sharya
Mar. 30th, 2005 03:45 pm (UTC)
Yeah, she was having some difficulties changing her default comments settings for that particular entry, but she reads the comments here, so she'll get it eventually :P

I'm so sorry you were betrayed in that way... I take it you're not still in contact with this person?
kraftygal
Mar. 30th, 2005 03:53 pm (UTC)
Actually, her daughter is mine's bestest friend so I bit the bullet after a few months of avoidance. I told her that Kayla missed Kayla and that for their sakes, we needed to communicate. Its been okay and although I will never, ever forgive her, we manage to have them sleep at each other's houses and continue play dates and the like... At first, I wouldn't even let her throught the door and that status hasn't changed much. She respects boundaries that have come along unspoken.

Seriously, I have never been that betrayed before in my entire life and the worse part is that my entire family had been basically hers since the day we met. I would pick up the girls from school every day to do homework and the like, my parents took both girls everywhere including Disney and the Keys, when holidays came around, her daughter was always included in gift giving. This on top of the room-mate thing. I know I spoke of her once but it was a while back. I'll see if I can find the link.
kraftygal
Mar. 30th, 2005 03:57 pm (UTC)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/kraftygal/2004/05/12/

This doesn't even remotely cover it... I may have to make a post about it.
sharya
Mar. 30th, 2005 04:05 pm (UTC)
*wanders off to read*
sharya
Mar. 30th, 2005 04:10 pm (UTC)
Wow that's really horrible!

But it doesn't really say what happened that was the "event" that turned you guys against each other... or am I just blind?
kraftygal
Mar. 30th, 2005 04:20 pm (UTC)
I was friends with someone who she was somewhat friends with two, but not really... cannot explain it but they were not as close as she and I or this person and I. This person's husband was rumored to be seeing a girl that I knew. I did not know this to be true or false and even while being bombarded with questions from everyone, I stayed out of it.

While Mooch was living with us - actually during the last week - I accidentally mentioned all of this. She turned around and told the other person that yes, her husband was having an affair and that I had known about it. I cannot tell you why either. My feeling is that she knew her welcome in our home was wearing thin... I don't know. *The best part is that she and the other friend haven't talked since the day the other friend moved away. Real worth it all, huh?*

Now again, none of us knew this to be true...yet.

Turns out, it was true. By that time, we had lost a lot of friends as nobody gave Dave nor I the chance to speak. A very large circle of friends with whom we had spent almost every single weekend with over the previous two years was, in a second, disolved.



sharya
Mar. 30th, 2005 04:34 pm (UTC)
That reminds me a little bit of my current ex-friends entry, the one with Katie. Same type of deal, you know or suspect something is up with one person, but you have no proof, and you don't want to betray anyone's confidence, but at the same time it would be disloyal not to say anything... you almost wish you knew nothing :/
kraftygal
Mar. 30th, 2005 04:44 pm (UTC)
That's the thing. One mere mention of somethingturned into us knowing everything! It really, really bit!

phaedie
Mar. 30th, 2005 07:02 pm (UTC)
thanks for taking the poll and commenting here.
i'm unsure if i can change my default settings for comments after going friends only but your input is valid and appreciated none the less.

I think it was very big of you to bite the bullet for your daughter, I know too well how difficult and important that can be when parenting.
kraftygal
Mar. 30th, 2005 07:10 pm (UTC)
My pleasure.
It was a very interesting question.

Thank you. It was very hard but the girl's friendship is too important for me to have not done anything differently. This is by far a tough part of parenting...
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )

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