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Obituary for Mr. Sense

I received this in an email, and I don't know from where it originated. I appreciated the sarcasm though, and I thought it was worth sharing, even though not everyone will agree on all of the points presented here.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense. Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. - Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing.

Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
ex_whatsthes958
Feb. 6th, 2005 06:31 pm (UTC)
Haha! RIP Mr Sense!
bribri22
Feb. 6th, 2005 06:32 pm (UTC)
heh so true. i shoulda been alive 60 years ago instead of now
sharya
Feb. 7th, 2005 01:00 am (UTC)
Well some of it is true... some of it is really just very biased opinions... but interesting to read all the same.
whochewedmypen
Feb. 6th, 2005 07:31 pm (UTC)
So sad, but so true.
sharya
Feb. 7th, 2005 01:00 am (UTC)
Parts are true, parts are a tad biased with inflammatory language.
joeymichaels
Feb. 6th, 2005 08:02 pm (UTC)
Perhaps what killed him was that he chose to believe everything he read without checking facts.

Or perhaps it was the day that he saw the US legal system uphold the traditional separation of church and state by saying that government buildings couldn't post the ten commandments on their walls and illogically confused it with the US legal system somehow banning the ten commandments.

Maybe it was when he read about a couple of highly publicized cases where the US Court's system of making sure that the innocent don't end up going to prising resulted in somebody who appeared guilty not receiving the kind of punishment that he felt they would have deserved if they were guilty and decided that that was typical of the entire legal system.

It sounds to me like if Mr. Common Sense had bothered to actually excercise some common sense and do some research before jumping to conclusions about things he would have been all right.

Of course, I guess being skeptical and actually checking facts before he made assumptions based on what he was told by the television would have required something more than common sense. We have to remember that Mr. Common Sense also believed that a feather and a rock dropped from a tower would fall at different rates until Newton proved him wrong. He also believed the world was flat until he was told otherwise. Poor Mr. Common Sense.
sharya
Feb. 7th, 2005 01:17 am (UTC)
Ahhh someone who saw through the inflammatory language :)

I have to say though, I still appreciate reading opinions that are presented in such an entertaining way, whether they got their facts straight or not. :P
heidi_13
Feb. 7th, 2005 09:09 pm (UTC)
I love you Joey Michaels! You are my hero.
crak
Feb. 7th, 2005 01:10 pm (UTC)
oh man, Mr. Common Sense must have been friends with Mr. Propaganda.

Common sense is rarely common and never sensical.
osoqres
Feb. 7th, 2005 04:06 pm (UTC)
If this were true:

Mr. Sense was not himself by not checking the validity of where and how he got his information.

But yse Shar... it is amusing and for the most part true!!!
lotaso
Feb. 7th, 2005 09:35 pm (UTC)
What took these people so long? I figure someone would have done this a long time ago.

Oh well, It's probably something the Republican Party will be sending me a copy of in a little while
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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